What Should You Know About Chinese Dating Culture?
Differences that Make The Chinese Dating Culture Unique
Cultures vary on etiquette when it comes to the dating world, and Chinese culture is no exception. In this short blog, you’ll learn everything about dating Chinese women, so even if it’s your first time you’ll seem like a seasoned pro!
In China, dating is second to education. While young love does happen, it is discouraged while a student is still in high school. This may seem irrelevant to you, but you probably have more dating experience than your Chinese partner, so it’s something to keep in mind.
In the Western world, most people date to try and find love. In China, that may not always be the case. Many Chinese people look to dating and relationships for building their future first, and a romantic experience comes second. Although it is certainly possible to get with a Chinese woman if you don’t own your own home or a car, it will be easier with these things because your potential partner sees you as a provider rather than a liability.
Since oriental dating prioritizes building a future and traditions over romance, you must recognize the importance of family to an Asian girl. In China, the parents are often heavily involved in their children’s relationships, so it is crucial you make a great first impression. If you don’t, the chances of the relationship working out are slim to none.
You may be able to score before marriage, but this is more common in Western culture than in the Chinese culture. In China, sex is seen as a serious sign of commitment, so you may have trouble taking your Chinese girlfriend to bed if the idea of marriage isn’t already on the table.
Remember, future life together is the goal of a relationship in China. Unlike many other countries, time is a luxury the Chinese don’t feel they have, so girls aim to marry and start a family by 26 at the latest. If not, they are considered “leftovers”, and they might have trouble finding a partner, which is why a relationship with a Chinese woman may seem rushed for you. For them, that type of timeline is standard.
Chinese Culture: Relationships & Expectations
So now that you’ve decided to start dating a Chinese woman, what should you expect? Here are a few things to know before starting any relationship to improve your chances of success:
- Family comes first. If their parents don’t like you, you’re out. It may seem harsh, but that’s how it works in Chinese families. First impressions are everything.
- Be ready to carry her things. In China, it’s a common sight to see a girl empty-handed walking with her man (whose hands are full of all her bags).
- Fights aren’t limited to the home. In Western culture, we try to keep our disagreements and squabbles behind closed doors. Not in Chinese culture! Bickering and yelling in public is relatively common, so don’t expect the silent treatment to work on your girlfriend (it won’t).
- Who pays? This varies slightly, but in China, it is an honor to pay the bill, so your girlfriend may be eager to pay the bill. This may seem nice, but that doesn’t mean to be stingy either! It is not uncommon for couples to split a bill, and obviously, you can pay for the date yourself (if she will let you).
- Honesty. Generally, being honest simply means not keeping secrets. In China, this means telling people exactly what you think of them and how they could improve. Don’t be surprised if your girlfriend tells you you are getting fat or look bad – it may seem rude, but it is a normal conversation in Chinese culture.
- Patting a person on the head. In Europe and the United States, patting someone on the head is seen as implying they are (acting) like a child. In China, this action is treated similarly to touching someone’s arm or kissing them on the cheek, so if it happens, don’t be offended – it’s a friendly gesture!
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