Why having sex with your roommate is not a good idea?
A straight guy living with a hot female might imagine sex with her. If she’s prancing around in skimpy clothing, you get temptations. It takes self-control not to stare, flirt, or touch her. Can’t she put clothes on? Can’t she hide her cleavage? She’s torturing you, and you want to explode!
Access does not equal eating the forbidden fruit. Consider the consequences of sex first because it impacts all roommates. Sex changes a relationship, and it can backfire. Try not to alter the group dynamics, which is terrible for everyone.
When sharing housing, the goal is coexistence. When roommates have sex, tensions arise. If they stop having sex, it is awkward around them. Housemates love it when you skip the roommate’s sexy time, show some compassion!
Why I avoid sleeping with my roommate
When sharing a college dorm with adults, there’s little privacy. At first, everyone acts like friends. The group chemistry changes when people pair up. When you sleep with a girl, she can get feelings. If there is an argument and the fling ends, everyone tiptoes around it. Roommates hate this situation, and they don’t want to make it worse.
With several roommates, sex will affect her relationships with them. For example, if she’s close friends with a guy or girl and they stop talking to her because they like you too, she loses. Skipping sex avoids hurting her, so keep your pants on!
Some Women Change After Hookups
Intercourse causes the release of the neurotransmitter oxytocin in men and women, which promotes sensations of closeness, belonging, and affection. Females keep producing this substance afterward. Before you slept together, you hung out, exchanged jokes, and swapped dating stories. Her self-esteem wasn’t at stake. After hooking up, she might turn clingy and want to feel close again. She doubts herself because her emotions become raw. Uncertainty alters her moods, which is a turnoff. If she wants more, this situation can blow up in your face.
Girls Aren’t the Same
Don’t judge girls by one standard. While sex complicates things, the drama is not always the result. Some girls have flings without emotion, but they get dirt on you. They can share it at the worst time when you’re dating another. You won’t know until afterward, which is too late. Do you trust her to protect this information?
Alternatives to Hooking Up
Start distancing yourself. Here are more options:
- Stop hanging out.
- Roommates come and go. Once you’re living in separate digs, hook up without impacting roommates.
- Ask her to introduce you to her female friend and start seeing her.
- Find a girl in another apartment for an FWB arrangement.
- Explain your attraction and why you can’t act on it.
- Change living arrangements.
- Look at a dirty magazine to distract your mind.
- Join a dating app and find multiple dates in one week to stay busy.
A Cultural Shift?
Our culture now uses hookups to meet short-term needs. We don’t wait for emotional connections. We don’t abstain until marriage. Is this the demise of our society? Weigh your risks versus rewards. If you desire her and there’s two of you, it might work. But, if you live with her, it can be awkward when it ends.
Men Vs. Women
Different pressures face men and women. Men can have casual sex without attachment. Women should wait for feelings, which means no hookups. So, in this double standard, a man enjoys himself, and a woman commits indiscretion. How do women win? On the plus side, if you don’t sleep together, others won’t think badly of her.
Consider Your Needs
A man meets different needs during sex. He gets a sense of coming home, letting all difficulties wash away with the release. He feels safe in a woman’s embrace. He feels energized by pure pleasure. Consider if sex will affect your emotions. You know your state of mind but might not recognize feelings for her. You can find other partners for intimacy and achieve the same satisfaction without the constant distraction. If she rejects you, you’d be powerless to date her, which would affect your work or studies.
Finally, you risk rejection, STDs, unwanted pregnancy, etc., which outweigh gratification. These effects cross your mind later. Why not preserve a friendship? If you value her and want to live peacefully, think before you act. Everyone continues as friends respect your privacy and completes their chores. Alternatively, with drama in the house, everyone loses. Because you must live there for months to come, which choice makes sense?
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